I'm a heterosexual. That means that (since I'm a man) I like girls.
To me there's nothing more fascinating than a 19-year-old girl with long blonde Farrah-Fawcett-style hair, a perky smile, full breasts, a tight, narrow little waist, and Sophia-Loren-style hips.
Many years ago, I worked as a high school teacher. I couldn't help noticing that a few of the girls in my class were MUCH cuter than the others. I had to be very, very careful to treat them EXACTLY the same way I treated Matilda Haversacker, the fat dumpy pimple-faced girl who didn't wear makeup.
I just don't understand homosexuality. As one comedian said: There are SO many beautiful women in the world. It's hard to imagine some guy taking a look at one of those tanned, long-legged beauties and asking himself: "I wonder if she has a brother?"
I don't condemn homosexuality. There are enough people in the world already who do that.
In 2003, the U.S. Supreme Court rendered a decision in the case of Lawrence vs. Texas. Our Texas law against homosexuality (homosexual conduct) was struck down. Turns out it was unconstitutional.
One of my friends said, "I'm sure that some homosexuals actually celebrated ... and the rest just blew it off." [And that will be my LAST homosexual joke]
I got to thinking: What if I woke up one morning in a parallel universe where HETEROSEXUALITY was illegal? Boy, I would be in trouble!
Imagine: I'd be surrounded by well-meaning Fundies who would urge me to join their counseling programs which would "cure" me of my heterosexuality. I'd hear heroic stories about former heterosexuals who were able to break their chains!
And from others I would receive outright abuse. "Girl lover!" they'd shout from the windows of passing pickup trucks. "Hey, straight boy! We can tell you're one of THEM by the funny way you walk! You're a dirty ... MACHO!"
I'd have trouble getting a job teaching at a public school, because "conservatives" would be telling people, "Of course, we can't allow them [heterosexuals] to be schoolteachers. We know that recruitment and seduction are an integral part of the heterosexual lifestyle."
My heterosexuality, my sex drive, is a part of who I am. You can pass all the laws you want to, you can threaten me, you can put me in jail, but it won't change who I am. It won't change the way I react when I watch a Jennifer Lopez video.
Just like with the homosexuals.
