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Quotations
(page 5)
(Sorry about all the font colors. RED indicates a link.)
"Opinions result from perceptions, and perceptions reinforce opinions, which then further control perceptions, in a repeating loop that logic can never penetrate."
— Korzybski
"I'm not a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is."
— Forrest Gump
"I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are good at heart."
— Anne Frank in The Diary of Anne Frank
"There is a destructive urge in people, the urge to rage, murder, and kill."
— Anne Frank in The Diary of Anne Frank
"WWID?"
— the inscription on Jesus' bracelet
"Hier stehe ich; ich kann nicht anders; Gott helfe mir; amen."
— Martin Luther
"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves."
— Edward R. Murrow
More is not always better. Sometimes more is just more.
It is easier to stay out than to get out.
"I have seen several entirely sincere people who thought they were (permanent) Seekers after Truth. They sought diligently, persistently, carefully, cautiously, profoundly, with perfect honesty and nicely adjusted judgment — until they believed that without doubt or question they had found the Truth. That was the end of the search. The man spent the rest of his life hunting up shingles wherewith to protect his Truth from the weather. If he was seeking after political Truth he found it in one or another of the hundred political gospels which govern men in the earth; if he was seeking after the Only True Religion he found it in one or another of the three thousand that are on the market. In any case, when he found the Truth he sought no further; but from that day forth, with his soldering-iron in one hand and his bludgeon in the other he tinkered its leaks and reasoned with objectors."
— Mark Twain in What is Man?
"No free person of African descent ... shall be permitted to reside permanently in the republic, without the consent of congress."
— a provision in the Constitution of the Republic of the State of Texas (1836) prohibiting freed slaves from living in the state
"Please give me the satisfaction of one day laughing in the face of all those mostly white treacherous female vipers."
—
a note written by George Hennard, who walked into a Luby's cafeteria in Killeen, Texas on October 16, 1991 and killed 24 people
"By speeding up the flow of digestive fluids and increasing alkalinity, Camels [cigarettes] give digestion a helping hand."
— from a 1937 advertisement
"The mother ... suddenly and without warning attacked the unsuspecting piano and took off from there, one chubby hand banging out the rhythm while the other banged out something else. The small upright seemed to be jumping up and down, fighting for its life, as she pumped away at the foot pedals."
— Fannie Flagg
Q: "Can I borrow ten dollars?"
A: "Friends don't loan money to friends."
Q: "Okay ... can I borrow ten dollars, you sorry bastard?"
"People ask me why I'm playing in this picture. The answer is simple: money, dear boy."
— Sir Laurence Olivier, when asked why he played the part of Douglas MacArthur in Inchon.
If the threat of a death-dealing virus won't stop teenagers from having sex, perhaps telling them to practice abstinence will do the trick.
"Gwen Stefani's solo debut is ... an 8-bit Atari video game soundtrack after five bowls of Lucky Charms mixed with espresso. And the bleacher-pounding beat in the hip-hop pep rally mutation ... isn't ghetto fabulous. It's just annoying."
— Derrik J. Lang
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience is the result of exercising bad judgment.
I don't let go of concepts, I question them ... then they let go of me.
"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."
— Molly Ivins (1944-2007)
"I feel very humble, but I have the strength of character to fight it."
— Bob Hope
"The negative"
Is nothing more
Than the opposite
Of what we have arbitrarily designated
To be "the positive."
"There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument against atheism; it's an argument against foxholes.
"Everything is fuzzy except numbers."
— Bark Kosko
Seeing is believing, but most people are much better at believing than seeing.
"Do not understand me too quickly."
— M. Andre Gide
You cannot polish a turd.
"'Reality,' like 'illusion,' 'art,' 'stoned,' 'straight,' 'normal,'
'abnormal,' 'fantasy,' 'mask,' 'the truth behind the mask,' 'the mask behind the mask,' etc., are terms which designate a judgment or evaluation by the observer and have no meaning apart from the observer-observed transaction."
— Robert Anton Wilson
"I am, therefore I think," he said, putting Descartes before the horse.
If the universe is constantly expanding, what is it expanding into? And why isn’t that "something" part of the universe, too?
"I wish somebody would steal my identity. Hell, it's not doing ME that much good."
— Pendragon
The hardest thing in life to learn
Is which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.
"One of the first lessons of marijuana: the world contains too many information bytes to fit into any one model. The second lesson: any model you create changes perceived information bytes until they fit it."
— Robert Anton Wilson
"I don’t see a big distinction between what Christians do to an animal (kill it ?bless it ?eat it) and what Santeros do (bless it ?kill it ?eat it)."
— a North Texas rabbi
"If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm."
— Marcus Aurelius
Of course I'm crazy ... but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Murderous shooting sprees happen in malls and at public schools. Ever wondered why they don’t they happen at gun shows ... gun stores ... shooting ranges?
"The instrument that measures all other instruments — the human nervous system — has its own laws, and one of them involves always seeing the results one wants to see until and unless something really startles the brain enough to reframe its experiences."
— Robert Anton Wilson
"Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself."
— Richard Dawkins
"This is not a psychotic episode. This is a cleansing moment of clarity."
— Peter Finch in "Network" (1976)
The problem with a theocracy is that everybody wants to be Theo.
"You have to be soft to survive. Hard people shatter."
— Kate Webb
"The older I get, the more I admire and crave competence — just simple competence — in any field, from adultery to zoology."
— H.L. Mencken
"See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it’s over."
—George W. Bush to Tony Blair (July 2006). He didn't know his lapel microphone was still turned on.
Everything is true.
Suppose you're in a room with (1) Osama Bin Laden, (2) Charles Manson, and (3) Pat Robertson. Your gun has only two bullets in it. What should you do?
Shoot Pat Robertson twice.
"I'm on the pill. I want to make sure I don't have any more grandchildren."
— Phyllis Diller, who turned 90 in 2007
"The vulnerable people of Darfur deserve more than sympathy. America will not turn away from this tragedy."
— George W. Bush (May 2006), who has, since May 2006, done absolutely nothing but "turn away from this tragedy."
"Right now, I could kill George Bush. No, I don't mean that. How could you nonviolently kill somebody? I would love to be able to do that."
— Betty Williams, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, at the International Women's Peace Conference (Adam's Mark Hotel, Dallas, Texas), July 11, 2007
"So I'll need your prayers there [University of California at Berkeley]. That’s worse than going to Vietnam."
— Billy Graham, in a telephone conversation with President Johnson (1967). We have a recording of it.
Excerpts from actual letters sent to Madalyn Murray (atheist) by Christians in 1964:
You had better read this carefully! It may be the last one you read. Somebody is going to put a bullet through your fat ass, you scum, you masculine lesbian bitch!
You will be killed before too long. Or maybe your pretty little baby boy. The queer looking bastard. You are a bitch and your son is a bastard.
Slut! Slut! Slut! Bitch slut from the devil!
Fundamentalism: From "fund" (to give money) and "amentalism" (no brains).
I saw a serious problem, and I wondered why somebody didn’t do something. And then I realized ... I was somebody.
"There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus: milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence."
— Alex (A Clockwork Orange)
What’s the difference between Iraq and Vietnam?
George W. Bush had a plan to stay out of Vietnam.
The difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.
"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so [locate the United States on a map] because, uh, some, uh [sounded like "Osama"], people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S., should help the U.S., um, or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future ..."
— Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina, on live television during the Miss Teen U.S.A. pageant (August 24, 2007)
"I'm crying because all of those horrible villagers chased me into this scary cave. I think it's because I'm so racist. Get your hand off my tail, you'll make it dirty."
— Albi, the Racist Dragon (to the badly-burned Albanian boy)
"The belief that there is only one truth and that oneself is in possession of it seems to me the deepest root of all evil that is in the world."
— Max Born (German physicist)
The afterlife: A meeting place, after all is said and done, where more can be said and done, and the point of it all can be revealed.
A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.
"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."
— Kathy Griffin (comedian, accepting her Emmy award on September 8, 2007. Her remarks were cut from the broadcast and were not aired)
The lies we tell other people are nothing compared to the ones we tell ourselves.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
"Books will soon be obsolete in public schools. It is possible to teach every branch of human knowledge with the motion picture."
— Albert Einstein (in 1913)
"I've been reading a book by Poe."
"Which one?"
"Edgar Allan."
— my proposal for the beginning of a Saturday Night Live skit, or a new Marx brothers movie
Who is the Guide, the Guardian, the Giver?
It is YOU. Trust yourself first.
Pendragon
A woman is looking for one man to fulfill all of her needs; a man has one need that he wants all women to fulfill.
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished."
— Lao Tzu
Independence is in our nature. Encourage someone to stay dependent, and you thwart nature.
The universe may
Be as big as they say
But it wouldn't be missed
If it didn't exist
"We pledge allegiance to the flag, and our constitutional rights with which it comes, and to the diversity in which our nation stands, one nation part of one planet, with liberty, freedom, choice, and justice for all."
— alternative Pledge of Allegiance proposed by Emma Martens, 17-year-old high school student, Boulder, Colorado (September 27, 2007)
"I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated."
— Angela from The Office
"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
— Dom Helder Camara
"Just close your eyes and think of England."
— Queen Victoria’s advice to her daughters when they asked her about sex.
"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."
— William James
"An ancient spell-using red dragon of huge size with 88 hit points has a BXPV of 1300, XP/HP total of 1408, SAXPB of 2800 (armor class plus special defense plus high intelligence plus saving throw bonus due to h.p./die), and an EAXPA of 2550 (major breath weapon plus spell use plus attack damage of 3-30/bite) — totaling 7758 h.p."
— from the rulebook of "Dungeons & Dragons"
"The world, it seems, is peopled by sensitive souls, too weak to be confronted by strong opinions, controversial statements and provocative arguments. As a result we all have to live our lives as if in a church service — all hushed tones and reverential attitudes, and no bad language, or bad thoughts. Yet it is the freedom to blaspheme, to transgress, to move beyond the pale that is at heart of all intellectual, artistic and political endeavour. Far from censoring offensive speech, a vibrant and diverse society should encourage it. In any society that is not uniform, grey and homogenous there are bound to be clashes of viewpoints. Inevitably some people will find certain ideas objectionable. This is all for the good. For it is the heretics who take society forward. From Galileo's vision of the universe to Darwin's theory of evolution, from the drive towards secularism to the struggle for equal rights, every scientific or social advance worth having began by outraging the conventions of its time. Without such heresies and transgressions, society may be more ordered, and more polite, but it will also be less progressive and less alive."
— Kenan Malik
Remember that the second best policy is dishonesty.
The only consistent feature of all my failed relationships is me.
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
When people are free to do what they want, they usually imitate each other.
You were meant for me ... perhaps as a punishment.
The early bird gets the worm. This is a good reason not to be an early worm.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
If you can't do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
Madness does not always howl.
It may be that the sole purpose of your life is to be a warning to others.
Hard work pays off over time. Laziness pays off right now.
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
I always know the right thing to say after the right time to say it has passed.
Life on earth is expensive, but it includes a free annual trip around the sun.
The universe is neither random nor determined. It is potential at every second. All you can do is intervene.
Nothing is as it seems ... or is it?
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
— Bertrand Russell
From Garry Shandling:
"After I made love to a woman, I asked her if it was good for her too. She said, 'I don't think that was good for anybody.'"
"I once made love to a woman for an hour and five minutes. That was the night we moved the clocks ahead by one hour."
"I'm dating a homeless woman. It's easier to convince her to spend the night at my place."
"Censorship is advertising paid for by the government."
— Federico Fellini
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